have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
