You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
