My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize