dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
