hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
