Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I am available for nakedness
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
