There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize