Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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