But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
