it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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