Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
