I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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