You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
