Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
