It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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