Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
