I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
