So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
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I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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