I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
pop tarts are not kleenex
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Randomize
