He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
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Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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