hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
