i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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