He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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