At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
