16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize