don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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