never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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