i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
