Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize