I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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