Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
