I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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