Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
