The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
