To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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