I cockslap morals
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
