I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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