If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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