I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize