Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
