Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think I am morally bankrupt
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
