I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
worst night to have a conscience
it glows. i had to have it.
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I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
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Also, beer. Big fan.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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