I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
