We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
