so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
