You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She bit a glass in half.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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