And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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