he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
