Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
