Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
