You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
