the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
