Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
