I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
