Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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