I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
