i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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