apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
