You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm at about main and main street
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
