Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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