I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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