Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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