No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
