If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
