Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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